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April 2008

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i know she was virtually a stranger because we didn't know anything about each others' personal lives much, but our work lives and stories and company and friendship were more than enough for me to know and love Kati Moran. When we had that meeting after work ended today, I had no idea what was coming. The feeling of being told that "Kati died last night" hit me like ..well, i don't really know how to describe the pain that shot through my body and the disbelief like i wanted to be like "what the fuck are you talking about, god you're horrible, come on!" ..shout out something that was angry.
I saw two men cry and two women cry and then there was myself. I was sobbing. It really is like a family in there. And she was the head of the house. She was so funny and the first thing that ran through my mind was "I'm never going to hear her deep hearty laugh and her Finnish accent that I could do such a perfect impression of always. Her "hooh hooh hoooh's" and her love for everything in the shop.
I have been crying because I'm going to miss her so much, her spirit was absolutely incredible. It was full of pure positivity and laughter and jolliness. Five hours later, I am still mourning the loss of Kati to us and her familly, and I want to say goodbye. I want to see her again. And I want to laugh with her again.